Updated: Nov 20, 2021
Well, I’m up to watch the sunrise. Not out of choice, mind you. At four o’clock this morning, I was rudely awakened by a tummy ache. But alas, I am up. And I am thinking.
Time has a way of teaching you lessons you didn’t know you needed to learn. I feel that every day of my life. Too often, I wonder my purpose in a particular place or why God allows so many gut-wrenching events to occur. And then, years later, I can look back on a particular time and realize what it was all for. I can see the hand of God leading me, even when I was completely unaware of it.
And with that epiphany comes the inevitable reality that the rough spots were never His fault and very often mine. Had I made better choices, had I listened to His still small voice rather than forging ahead on my own, so much pain could have been avoided. Doubt, uncertainty, temporary heartaches—they’re all a part of life. But I have etched the scars so much deeper than they needed to be, simply by not trusting in Him and the Word He gave me.
So I sit here today, repeating that mistake. Not in the ways I once did, but with new and unforeseen methods. When we learn from our past and one tactic fails, the enemy is quick to think of more. The only safeguard is to press closer to Jesus, the one place we truly belong.
One of the first Scripture passages my mother ever had me memorize was Matthew 11:28-30—“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Symptom: weary, burdened. Solution: go to Him. Outcome: rest. It’s as simple and beautiful as that.
So if anyone out there is like me, the kind of person who takes life on their shoulders and tries to run with it, this entry’s for you. Slow down. Hand it over. Learn from your mistakes. Do not let them define you. Let His Word determine your identity and your future. You’re the child of a King—bought and paid for by His precious blood. Believe it and live it.
This I strive to do as my journey continues on. The road is never easy, but every step along the way has purpose. Even if the meaning is not immediately clear, it will be someday. My goal is to live intentionally and to His glory, even amid the fogs of uncertainty. Because I know, one day, I’ll understand. And I’ll never regret the decision to trust in Him.